We need to address the elephant in the room. Or rather, the Bulldog and the Border Collie in the room.

In my house, there is a distinct hierarchy. It isn't subtle, and frankly, it’s getting a little awkward for my partner.

When I get home, it’s like The Beatles just landed at JFK in 1964. Billy, my Border Collie, practically launches himself into my arms (which is adorable now, but we are reaching a critical mass where I might get knocked over). Lizzie, my Bulldog, has a different approach: she sets up a toll booth. She refuses to go outside to do her business until she receives her mandatory hug and kiss, her tail wagging a mile a minute.

But when my partner gets home?

They trot to the door, give him the canine equivalent of a "Sup?" head nod, and then immediately look behind him to see if I’m there. If we walk in together, they rush past him to get to me. And the absolute worst-case scenario? If he comes home and I’m not there. He describes it as an interrogation scene where the dogs stare him down, demanding to know where Dad #1 is and what he did with him.

It begs the question: Do dogs play favorites?

The short answer is: Yes. Absolutely.

If you are the "Spare Human" in your household (sorry to my partner), don't panic. It doesn't mean your dog doesn't love you. It just means the bond is constructed differently. Here is the science behind why dogs pick a favorite person.

1. The Critical Socialization Period

Dogs are most impressionable between birth and six months. This is their key socialization window. Whichever human was the source of the most comfort, play, and security during this specific timeline often creates the strongest, most unbreakable bond. If you were the one doing the 2:00 AM potty runs and the puppy classes, you likely secured the "Favorite" title early on.

2. The Power of "Positive Association"

Dogs are, at their core, opportunists. They bond most intensely with the person who provides the resources.

Ask yourself:

  • Who fills the bowl in the morning?
  • Who holds the leash on the fun walks (not just the potty breaks)?
  • Who hands out the high-value treats?

In my house, I am usually the dispenser of the "good stuff." Therefore, in Billy and Lizzie’s minds, I am a walking vending machine of joy. If one person does the discipline and the bathing, and the other person does the treats and the fetch, the dogs are going to naturally gravitate toward the Fun Parent.

3. Personality Matching (The "Vibe" Check)

Sometimes, it really is just about personality.

  • Billy is high-energy, focused, and intense. He matches my energy when I’m in "work mode" or moving around the house.
  • Lizzie is affectionate and stubborn. She responds to the specific way I show affection (the hugs and kisses).

Dogs often choose the person whose energy matches their own. A laid-back Mastiff might prefer the human who spends Saturday reading on the couch, while a Malinois is going to obsess over the human who likes to go for a run.

How to Win Them Over (Advice for the "Spare Human")

If you are reading this and realizing you are the "Dad #2" in this scenario, don't worry. You can climb the ranks. Bonds are fluid and can shift over time.

  • Take Over Mealtime: The quickest way to a dog's heart is through the stomach. Become the provider of the kibble.
  • Be the Source of Play: Instead of just existing in the same room, engage. Fifteen minutes of tug-of-war or teaching a new trick creates a working bond.
  • Solo Walks: Take the dog out without the "Favorite" person present. It forces the dog to look to you for direction and fun, rather than looking past you to see where the other person is.

The Verdict

So, yes, my dogs play favorites. And yes, I am currently winning. But at the end of the day, dogs are pack animals. They have enough love for the whole family—even if they greet one of us with a leap and the other one with a nod.

Need to bribe your way into your dog’s heart? Stop by Pets Etc. in Plainfield. Whether it’s high-value freeze-dried treats or a new frisbee, we have everything you need to improve your standing in the pack hierarchy. (Good luck!)